Deceased and Desist Read online

  And so I wasn’t prepared, nor was I able to do anything about it, when the ladder teeter-tottered. It went to the right and I went to the left. To my horror, I flew through the air with nothing to save me. Almost like my swan dive from grace with the upper crust of this town. It was a split-second thought and one that winged out of my head as the ground came up way too fast to greet my face and anything else I might hit.

  Hitting the grass with a yell, my first thought was what had I broken? Please let it be nothing. As I lay prone in the crunchy grass, I assessed the damage without moving too much. Thank heavens the ground was spongy from the snowmelt last week. I had landed on a soft spot.

  I had survived, but the man upstairs hadn’t. I needed to call this in before any more time passed.

  I’d get yelled at by Police Chief Burton, of course, but that was to be expected. First, I needed to catch my breath and take it slow.

  My hip felt like it was on fire, though, and my shoulder and wrist hurt like someone had kicked me. I tried testing out all my working parts to see if they were still working and found that for the most part I was good to go. I stayed still for a moment, closing my eyes just to get my bearing.

  Unfortunately, I must have passed out at some point because there was no slow coming around, no gradual awakening until I was ready to sit up. Someone splashed water in my face. My first foggy thought was that maybe it was raining. My second thought was that I hoped they hadn’t used the dirty water from my bucket.

  I came up sputtering and spitting, just in case.

  Chapter Two

  Rhoda stood over me with a frown marring her usually smiling face. I tried to frown, too, but it hurt too much so I stopped.

  “You just lay still there, missy. I called the ambulance. We can’t have you traipsing around if you’re hurt. I’m so sorry for whatever happened. I heard a crash and I came to find you on the ground. Are you okay?”

  Truthfully, I was nauseous and afraid to ask if the brackish taste in the back of my throat was because she really had used the dirty water in the bucket.

  With a hand on my back, she helped me sit up. Once I was in an upright position I felt like my brain fell back into place. My synapses all started firing at once.

  “Oh, my God, Rhoda! We’re going to need two ambulances, and we need to run upstairs right now!” I had apparently taken up her overuse of exclamation points in my injured state.

  “What? Why?”

  “I was cleaning the front windows.”

  “Oh, I was wondering.” She glanced up. “Great job, honey! So shiny! I thought you had gone home and had no idea where the noise came from until I ran outside from the kitchen.”

  “Yeah, I just stopped in the kitchen on my way out to the garage.” I rubbed the back of my head where I was pretty sure a lump was forming. “When I was cleaning, though, I saw a guy in the front bedroom on the east side of the building and it looked like he was dead.”

  Her hands flew to her mouth. “But there’s not supposed to be anyone here! Why would someone not only be here, but be dead, too?”

  I tried to shrug my shoulders and that hurt as well. “I have no idea, but we’d better go check things out and call the police.”

  “Oh, my land’s sakes. This is not good, not good at all. I should go wake up Arthur.”

  I took my cue that she was not particularly interested in seeing a dead body. I didn’t blame her.

  “Don’t touch anything but your husband,” I warned her. “And while you do that, I’m going to call the police again.”

  She ran off before I could finish my sentence, which was fine by me. One less person around trying to tell their story while I told mine would make this easier. Or at least that’s the lie I told myself. Experience had taught me that nothing about finding a dead body was easy. Especially when I had to go up against Police Chief Burton.

  After I picked up my phone from the ground, I realized the initial call had never gone through. It was probably better that way, since I had passed out. If I’d called the emergency number and then not said a word, or only screamed on my way down to the ground, the police would be swarming right now. All four of them.

  Suzy at the station picked up the call on the third ring. “Tallie, please tell me this is a traffic accident or something.”

  Nerves rang through Suzy’s voice and her normally loud volume was almost a whisper. I probably could have figured out why, but with my addled brain and the fact that I hurt from head to toe, I was in no mood to get crap for finding another body. There was no way around it, though. “Someone is dead at the Crossing Bridge Inn.”

  “And you just happened to find them?” She blew out a breath. “Why do I even ask? Of course you did.” She put a hand over the phone, but I still heard her yell out to someone in the office to get the heck over to the inn pronto and call the coroner.

  Well, at least the police would be on their way. Now if I could just get Suzy off the phone. “Okay, message delivered. I’m going to go upstairs just to keep a watch on the room until you guys arrive.”

  “No,” she yelled. After a moment, her voice dropped back down to almost a whisper, as if she’d realized she needed to keep quiet. But why? “Seriously, Tallie, if you never listen to me again, please at least listen to me now. You’re going to stay right where you are. Do not move a muscle. The chief won’t want contamination of the scene, and your part of this is now officially over.”

  I could have sputtered. Instead, I decided to stay silent. This would actually be better. I’d get checked by the paramedics Rhoda had called and then go have my movie night. I was sure I was fine. And the police could handle this, I told myself sternly. I’d simply call Gina and tell her to hold the movie for a few more minutes.

  That was wishful thinking, though.

  The paramedics screamed up the driveway in their shiny new ride that they’d fund-raised for with calendars of hot men in uniform. Just to keep it interesting they had also asked the local senior living home if they had some women interested in posing with them. The calendar was a wonder of awesomeness and raised enough money that the senior center also got a new van of its own. I bought three of those calendars.

  Roy, Mr. July, came trotting up with his gear, smiling at me. “Tallie Graver. I jumped right in the truck when I heard it was you.”

  I rolled my eyes. This guy had teased me mercilessly throughout all of our school years, from preschool to senior year.

  “What did you do?” he asked as he used a penlight on my eyes, telling me to track the light.

  “Fell off a ladder.”

  “All the way from the second story?” He felt the back of my head, rotated my shoulder and then tested my wrists.

  “No, I was halfway down.”

  “You have to be more careful. You don’t have a concussion, so that’s good. And everything seems to be working fine, but you should still go to the hospital. You can take a ride in our brand-new ambulance.”

  Not if I could help it. I immediately began coming up with excuses. I settled on the easiest one. “I think I’m going to be okay. I wasn’t that high up.”

  “When you do it, you do it right.” Roy stared up to the second-floor windows and whistled.

  I didn’t need kudos. I needed a clear bill of health so I could get out of here. “Thanks. I won’t need a trip to the hospital, but your ambulance should be good for the dead body upstairs.”

  His jaw dropped, the smile completely gone. “You have to be kidding. Another one? What is that, six now?”

  “Four, counting this one, doofus.” I crossed my arms over my chest, being careful of my wrist.

  After rubbing his chin, he smirked. “Ah, just four.”

  “I swear I was on the other side of the glass from this one this time.”

  “Chief’s not going to be happy.” Roy checked my pulse with cold hands.

  Like I didn’t already know that. I had endured it before, I could certainly endure it again. “I’m pretty sure I see him comi
ng now. He can be unhappy with me in person after he checks out the dead guy upstairs.” Jumping up from the bumper of the ambulance, I said a hurried goodbye as Roy tried to continue examining me. I walked away just as a man emerged from a police cruiser.

  Thankfully it was my cousin, Matt, instead of Burton. I was still feeling a little wobbly and preferred not to have a confrontation at this point, no matter what I had said to Suzy.

  “Tallie, should I even ask?” Sticking his hands into his uniform pants’ pockets, Matt rocked back on his shiny black shoes.

  “You just did.” Unlike with Burton, cheeky was well received here. Matt shook his head at me and chuckled without a trace of anger in his expression.

  Then he got down to business. Moving to my left, he took in the scene. The ladder on its side, me listing to the right, the dirty bucket overturned. God, she had used the dirty water. I was in serious need of a shower. I was never so happy that I used natural products for windows and had left out the ammonia or I would be burning from head to toe right now on top of the soreness setting in.

  After a handful of seconds, he looked at me again. “You okay?”

  It was nice of him to ask. Burton would have been a severe thundercloud with undertones of a tornado. I shrugged. It didn’t hurt as much this time, just a twinge. “I was in the middle of having Roy, the clown, check when you pulled up. What do you want to know first?” I sat on a beautiful stone bench Rhoda had put at the front of the property, surrounding it with shrubs that bloomed in the spring and fall. Thank goodness I hadn’t fallen in these. I would have had scratches to match the aching. It was bad enough that my hip was still burning.

  “Just point out which room, get checked out with Roy, and go home. I promise I’ll handle the rest.”

  I opened my mouth to ask if he wanted the time or the details of how I found the guy, but another police cruiser pulled up and Matt’s whole demeanor changed in a flash. Instead of smiling and joking with me, Matt stood at attention, his eyes serious, and waited with his notebook in hand. I would have expected this from Burton, but not Matt.

  What on earth had just happened?

  “Just the bare facts and then I’ll take it from here,” he said in a loud voice.

  I raised an eyebrow and prepared for battle. “But, normally—”

  “There is no normally right now,” he grated out in a much lower voice. “Just the facts and then be on your way. If I need further information I’ll call you down to the station for a statement.”

  Okay, then. I would not be participating. I would not help. I would only give the bare minimum. Maybe I should just point and grunt instead of using real words. Because, obviously, I was not needed here at all. In any fashion. Thanks for finding the dead body, Tallie, but now you can go on your merry little way.

  Fine by me. Whatever they wanted. I knew when I was being dismissed. I had a movie to watch whose main character said things such as “As you wish” and made my heart melt.

  In the end, I did not resort to grunting, but it was close. “Up there. On the bed.”

  “Thank you.” He sounded so relieved I didn’t jump in with my own theories and thoughts, that I let it slide. At least for now.

  There would be time to take him to task later when my head stopped pounding.

  “Now, go let Roy do the rest of the checkup.” Matt said. “You really should go to the hospital, but I’d settle for letting Roy finish his job.”

  I turned back to Roy, who smiled, waving a blood pressure cuff and a stethoscope in his big hands. I really wanted him to give me a pain reliever and go away, but there was little hope of that actually happening. So, I sat for the rest of the exam on pins and needles, wondering if Matt would tell me anything when he came back downstairs. What was he finding right now?

  Because of the shock and then the ladder fall, I’d had little time to register more than the guy lying with his eyes open and the severe angle of his neck. Who was it? Everything was so jumbled in my head that I felt like I was missing something.

  “Ow!” I jerked my arm back from Roy’s grip.

  “Your wrist is at least sprained. It doesn’t look broken, or feel broken, but there’s something not right in there.”

  That seemed to be the thought of the day. Something not right.

  “Can’t you just give me one of those wrap things and let me go on my way?” Whining could get you many places if done right.

  “I really think you need an X-ray, Tallie. I wouldn’t mess with this if I was you. The bump on the back of your head should be looked at, too.”

  Being that I no longer had insurance through Waldo, my ex-husband, my father had given me employee insurance, even though I only worked part-time. But I had opted for the lowest possible premium, which meant I had the highest possible co-insurance and deductible.

  I did not want to pay three hundred dollars at the emergency room to find out my head would be better with some aspirin and my wrist needed one of those ACE Bandages from the local pharmacy. I could claim this as a worker’s compensation case, but then my premium would go sky-high and I’d still pretty much be paying everything myself.

  To top it all off, I certainly didn’t want to pay for an ambulance ride. I hadn’t subscribed to the ambulance fund this year and in these parts that meant I’d have to pay anything my insurance didn’t cover.

  “I’ll go to urgent care.”

  He frowned, and I frowned back.

  “I promise to go. I’ll even have Gina drive me so I don’t use my wrist too much. Okay?”

  He still didn’t look happy, but that wasn’t my problem.

  I jumped down off the edge of the ambulance bumper for the second time and let him put a bandage on me. No sling, thanks. Those made me feel too restrained.

  I was done here and disappointed that Matt hadn’t even come out to thank me for calling this in, or at least shared who the dead man was.

  I walked to my car to get my jacket and a few other things, calling Gina on the way.

  “I guess this is going to be more than a few minutes,” she said.

  “Well, hopefully urgent care isn’t too busy, and then I promise we’ll get to the movie.”

  “It’s not the movie I’m worried about. It’s you. Are you okay? Are you sure you shouldn’t go to the hospital?”

  “I’m fine, really. It’s just urgent care and then we can get to our evening. I feel fine, but I have to keep my promise to Roy.”

  “And what about the police? Aren’t they pissed that you found another body?”

  “It’s not as if I go looking for them.” My hackles were up, I admit, but I was tired and sore and cranky. I crunched across the dry grass, then stepped on the resurfaced driveway.

  “Don’t get all defensive. I’m not saying you do, but this is becoming a habit. One you might want to break. You are at least staying out of it this time, right?”

  “Of course,” I said with far more conviction than I felt. If it was someone I knew, and it looked like the police weren’t paying attention, then I made no promises about not at least looking around a little. But I was definitely going to leave this to Burton and his people to figure out. For now.

  I’d reached my car, wedged between a maroon sedan and one of those tiny cars that looked like only clowns would come out of them. Opening my door just a smidgen, I reached in for my jacket and my purse. “Anyway, can you come pick me up? It appears I’m not needed here at the moment. If Rhoda wants me to come back for that last strip of window, I can do that later.”

  “Ten minutes.”

  “I’ll be ready.”

  I locked my old Lexus, one of the few things I’d kept after the divorce, and headed back to the front of the house. This way Gina would only have to stop long enough for me to hop in the car, and then we could be on our way.

  As I rounded the corner, Matt was waiting for me with another man who really did have thunderclouds rolling across his face that turned into threatening tornado bursts when he laid eyes on me.


  “I swear I didn’t touch anything,” I said quickly, tucking my arms around my waist. “I didn’t even go in the house after I found the dead body.”

  “Tallie, this is Detective Hammond.”

  “Okay,” I said, not sure if I should try to shake the guy’s hand. And also not sure why I was being introduced. Those storm clouds were very hateful, though.

  “I know who she is, and I want her to stay out of this.” His light blond hair fairly bristled off his head and his eyes were the iciest blue I’d ever had the misfortune to see.

  “I have no intention of being in this,” I snapped. “I didn’t even go in the room. I saw him through the window.” Irritated was an understatement. I was used to Burton being resigned, or even pissed, but not this anger towering over me. I took a step back just so he wasn’t throwing a shadow on me. Who was he, anyway? A detective? But where did he fit into our department?

  “I will have you in jail so fast your head will spin, Ms. Graver, if you even think about looking into anything having to do with this natural death.” He flipped the edge of his jacket back and rested his hand on what I assumed was a gun holster. “It’s a heart attack, not a murder, and you will stay far away from me and the department, or you’ll pay. Dearly. Do we understand each other?”

  No, we did not understand each other. How did he know it was a heart attack just from looking at the guy? Had he even looked at the guy? I clearly remembered his neck being wrong. Even though I didn’t often help with the bodies that came in to Graver Funeral Home, I at least knew that if I could see your back, I shouldn’t also be able to see your face. “What about the position of the body?”